T-29

Comes news that there’s been a shootout in the middle of a flash mob down in Venice. Remember when you didn’t have to be in a flash mob to shoot somebody in Venice? Oops. Marketing says I shouldn’t date myself. Did you just outclick? You did not! You will not! Because this is Walt Dangerfield, and I remember when you could shoot somebody in Venice anydamntime you wanted to. I remember when it was possible to do something in LA and not have anyone know about it. I remember when the sky was full of 747s circling LAX and traffic choppers circling the Orange Crush, instead of drones circling the perfect vantage point to catch you planning to shoot somebody from the middle of your flash mob. I remember the first time I heard the phrase ‘flash mob,’ and it was a bunch of fag-Mod English kids giggling till they wet their pants because they could send text messages over a cell phone and arrange to meet in a place all at once without anyone knowing. Incredible! Now I got nothing against a good old-fashioned mob. You get wired up enough about something that you want to get out your pitchforks and torches, I say go forth and do it. That Frankenstein monster has to get burned, sometimes there’s no two ways about it. Burn, baby, burn. Aaaahhhhhh, I’m a palimpsest! But flash mobs? How long before that particular fad is over? I’m hoping it’s a generational thing. On in the 2000s, out by the 2010s; back in the 2030s, which would mean that any year now the whole thing will go out of fashion again and people in Venice will be able to fire at will. Man, I pray to God.