Sunday, March 1, 2009
We note with interest the scheduling of what we here at Dangerfield World Domination Studios believe to be the first life-term buyout performed on a human being. If you stream this later today, it will already have happened; then again, if you stream this later today, I might already be dead. Our foray into seeing whether insurance regulators will get themselves involved in assigning a dollar value to human life begins at oh nine hundred hours…unless, that is, you believe that it began the first time an insurance company denied someone a surgery based on a pre-existing condition. Man, I remember when I was a kid we had this dog named Sesame. Don’t ask me why. She got sick, and my dad took her to the vet, and Sesame didn’t come home. Me and my brothers, we asked why. Well, kids, the old man said. Sesame was sick, and we couldn’t afford to get her better. Couldn’t afford it? Couldn’t afford it!? Maybe we couldn’t afford to make sure that Jackson Ordonez, for such is the moniker of the lucky first recipient of what our esteemed punditocracy is already calling the Golden Needle, maybe we couldn’t afford to make sure that he would grow up and come to adulthood in such a way that he wouldn’t off his girlfriend and her other boyfriend. How much would that have cost?