Monday, March 23, 2009


We have a name for the shooter of the cop yesterday, one Curtis Diogenes Laskowski. Now there’s a name that says Stone Killer. Am I wrong? Of course not! Because even if I was, none of you could tell me! Ha! O o o o that barbaric yawp. The drugs are getting to me. So Curtis Diogenes Laskowski blew away a cop named Solomon Briggs. Detective Briggs, this cop-hating narrowcast buccaneer wishes you nothing but the best in the afterlife of your choosing. And Curt Laskowski, you are one lucky crazy gringo. Have fun in prison. If you ever get there. Apparently buyout dealmaker Martin Kindred was in the car, right? First his brother, now this. I bet right now, nothing would clear a room of cops quicker than Martin fucking Kindred walking through the door. But I forgot this Diogenes thing. The famous Cynic, who believed that independence and happiness came from freedom from social mores, who believed that all civilization destroyed the individual…we could use another Diogenes. And, as a bonus etymological lesson, I am happy to inform you that the word cynic comes from a Greek root meaning dog. The dog is cynical but idealistic too, isn’t he? He’ll take a shit wherever he pleases, but you can hit him and he’ll always come back for more. And dogs don’t lie. They might want to, but when you come home and someone has torn up the trash all over the kitchen, I guarantee you the dog is going to look guilty and cop to the crime as soon as you look his direction. Honest, cynical, idealistic, all at the same time. I wonder if Curtis Diogenes Laskowski is that kind of guy.

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